Cancer autobiographies

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So I have read another one–I think everyone is entitled to their opinion but what I find is that there is so little faith involved. Now I am not a born again bible thumping christian. I am not but what I have found is that my faith, my prayer, my meditation(through yoga or prayer) , my yoga breathing have all helped me through the last year. Last year at this time we had done tests that said I was fine. And we were waiting and seeing. Through all the tests, the waiting, the waiting to start tests, the waiting to get results back, through all that I meditated, breathed, prayed. It got me through the hour and a half in the cold hallway on the folding chair where I didn’t see another person while I was waiting for the MRI that would change my life and give me life. It got me through the fear..the days of not knowing how I would do. Would I be a warrior or a wimp? It got  me through the moments before my surgery that I can barely remember–

I remember Dr S. marking my breasts –He came in with a haliburton case with files and mont blanc pens. And he managed to make me smile at a really hard moment.

So I read these books–people find exercise, they find nutrition, supplements, juicing, yoga but where is God, faith, higher power, the force? I find imagery is important–to see myself living the life I have for years and years to come…I see myself waking the beach in a bikini with the best body I have ever had(thanks to new breasts and exercise)–in a pink bikini someplace tropical. I think I have to look into spinning someday as my friend J has the best body of anyone over 40 and that is what she does along with yoga.
So as I think about it –am I ,will I write a book about my experience strength and hope–I wonder what the point is…I have to have one or the book has no center—I don’t want it to be all about faith–though it certainly is that-I mean I don’t want to push away readers who would find that too harsh or too religious–it isn’t about religion it is about faith-I don’t want it to be about nutrition–though that is part of it…I think it would need to be about a mindset:
Trust that god has a plan
that god works through everyone around you and through you as well-friends, family, doctors…nurses
that you need to have faith and follow through
that you need to trust that you will live fully every moment
That the one thing we know about life is that faith and trust in God and people makes it a much happier place to be
I don’t see chemo as poison to me just to cancer
I see my breasts as saving my life–honestly if you are going to get cancer you should get it somewhere you can cut off and live without.
I see all of this as a positive experience
I find the humor in all things
I find love and god in all things
even when my kids fight –isn’t it great that life is stronger than anything?
I stay positive because I will have a lousy life if I don’t—
Why worry about what may happen—it just makes you crazy and miserable until it happens or what if it doesn’t? All that wasted time, right?
Find an image and grab hold of it.
I choose life and to be flexible and embrace change
I like that more–embrace change–

One Response

  1. TheFlyProf
    | Reply

    I noticed your sentence, "my friend J has the best body of anyone over 40…" Just to clarify: Theresa starts with a "T," not a "J."

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