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The month of October in all its Breast Cancer Awareness starts for me on Sept 25. That was the day I heard the definitive words, “you have cancer.” That was my life starting over with a completely different point of view.

Since then my daughters have grown from 7 and 11 to 10 and 14. One has left soccer for volleyball and one has left soccer for tennis and swimming. They have learned that there mother is imperfect and so are they and that it’s ok. They have learned many things about the kindness we show toward each other and to perfect strangers with bald heads.

Since then I have grown from a 45 year old wife and mother to a 48 year old wife and mother and survivor. Since then my marriage has grown stronger and so has my body. Since then I have found how truly blessed I am with my friends and family. Since then I have found how truly strong of character I am and it makes me proud. As many times as I wanted to run shrieking into the night I didn’t. I stood my ground and dared anything that tried to take it from me.

I have friends who have regular mammograms now and who check their breasts regularly.
I have friends who know that it is only hair.
I have friends who buy pink ribbons and walk in cancer walks and pray for all of us.

I know that a world can end but that another one begins in its place. I am here now today and I will make the most of it.

I have written 85 pages of a book on my journey. I think that my words have touched so many beyond the cancer community. I hope that they will continue to do so through the book.

I have had a great learning experience.

I don’t want vitriol coming at me about the election but the facts remain the same regarding my health insurance. Look a few posts back for that.

I will walk again in May with my girls, my mother and our family and friends. Maybe one day I will get my crowd hating husband to join us.

Sometimes I look around me at other mothers with their kids and I wonder what it is like to not have had this experience. I wonder if they will have their own challenges. Heck, I look at women in the car next to me and wonder if they have cancer and whether or not they know it yet.

I wish I knew what the future will bring…or maybe I don’t.

Next week on Oct 9th it will be my 3 year cancer free anniversary. I will be at school helping out with an event called Dig Pink. It is a volleyball fundraiser and my oldest’s team will be playing against another school that night. I hope we win!
There is a silent auction and a bake sale. On my anniversary. How fitting to be doing something with my daughters. My youngest will bake with me over the weekend for the bake sale. And we will all be there to cheer on the oldest. Celebrating life, athletics, and awareness.

I think I am all too aware…
I am going to a game tonight with my ribbon pin on –I plan on wearing pink everyday this month because for all the crazy convoluted things surrounding those ribbons   if just one woman  checks her breasts or makes an appointment and it saves her life then it is worth wearing the pink. Just a reminder of the 1 in 8.