#amwriting Honestly I am

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Mostly what I am doing is tidying up so that work each section by itself. I am looking forward to doing that but rereading it is a pain in someways. I have to be nitpicky about the timeline and I don’t want to really go back plus I am shocked that I can’t remember each individual surgery the way I used to. When I look back it is no wonder as it has been over a year since I had some sort of general anesthetic for a procedure on my body. I was so done!

Yesterday I was straightening up my attic space/closet. It is more of a closet but I have a long counter in there that I will use to lay out my book. I came across two small seemingly innocuous papers. They were appointment reminders for my August and September 2010 Herceptin treatments.  My feeling about them was sort of like looking at a photo of an old classmate from school, no one you were particularly close to but you remember them just the same. It took me back to exactly where I was sitting when I made those appointments and all the other appointments for treatment. The woman behind the desk and the woman who greeted me when I got off the elevator, the one in the infusion center and how kind they all were. The nurses, the staff, the doctors, the volunteers, each one was kind and helpful and sweet and also told me straight. What more do you need.

Today was a working day for me–I had printed out my latest draft last night and this morning I laid it out on my counter. I saw an order begin and I saw things that needed to move so I moved them. I had been wise to print each section on it’s own piece of paper or papers. I knew I would be moving things around. When I was doing my quote book I painstakingly cut out each quote and covered my office floor with them. After that I could see that there were some pieces I needed yet to write so I wrote them.  Tomorrow the plan is to go to each section and clean it up so I ran out the door to the market.

There is a new organic market near me and they make a chai tea sort of thing that tastes creamy and has no cream, is very full of turmeric and all sorts of spices, no caffeine and it is terrific. I grabbed one of those and bought some avocados, tomatoes and pears. When I was putting things away at home I put two kind bars in the cupboard beside my desk and a piece of paper fell into my hand. I haven’t seen it in years. It is a note from a mom I know who has been fighting her BRCA genes all over her body. It is the “phone number, ask me anything and here are my and my mother’s oncologists and where we go”note which she gave to me five years ago.
She was the first woman I ever saw a picture of who had had a mastectomy. She made it not scary. I will always be grateful. I take this as a sign that I need to keep moving forward with my book. Any doubts I have have been quelled by the three pieces of paper which tell me I do have something to say and to make sure I say it to everyone who needs to hear it.

On Wednesday the tone of this blog will change for a bit as we jump fully in to Breast Cancer Awareness month which we at Get In Touch call Breast Health Month. I will be posting light and fun posts with photos hoping to get the message around. Please join me…and feel free to share posts and retweet and all that.

At the moment this is the only picture I have of me writing…of course I am in a school play and 16 years old in this one. The fellow with me is Kirk Thatcher of Jim Henson’s Creature Shop Challenge. This was a mere two months before he moved up north to work at LucasFilm. Stolen away from UCLA at the age of 18 to work there and then The Jim Henson Company. He is brilliant by the way.  

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