The Art of Letting Your Kids Be Who They Are

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A Book Review

Ruby in Her Own Time is a story about a duckling who does everything after her brothers and sisters. In her own time. It is about the patience of parents who believe in their kids and the grace that happens when you allow a child to be who they are.

I think it is a valuable lesson when you have two or more kids.

They will always compare themselves to their older siblings. Only children will also compare themselves but to classmates. Some kids grow fast and some grow slower but they all end up in adulthood.

Don’t get me started on the college admissions scandal. Aside from the legal issues it boils down to “You are not enough being who you are.” What a horrid message.

Sorry about that, I digressed.

The art of letting your kids be who they are- a book review

We have two very different daughters. Are anyone’s kids the same? One is outgoing, one is more quiet. One reached out to other kids to make friends wherever we went, the other tagged along but wasn’t as likely to reach out first. One is an actress, the other wants to study forensic psychology. Both are funny, honest, loyal, and wicked smart. The oldest spent her first 4 years as an only child. She was verbally way beyond her peers. We used to try to stump her with tongue twisters. The younger was quieter but when she spoke it was like hearing from the wise old man on the top of the mountain. Wisdom and thoughtfulness are the daily experience. She is getting her only child moment now, as our oldest is gone for school.

The younger one is our Ruby. She walks to the beat of her own drum and doesn’t look to see who is doing what. When she is ready for the next step she takes it and never seems to doubt herself. She has never been behind in any milestone for growth or maturity, but she doesn’t compare herself to others. She considers deeply and then moves forward. The older one is enthusiastic and jumps with full force into what every she is doing. When she decides to do something she goes for it.

Needless to say, I love our girls and I love this book as it celebrates differences as being okay. It keeps us from comparing our kids to other kids and to siblings. We have tried really hard to make this their true experience, letting the kids be who they are, in our home. Each is valued and each is individual. And it encourages parents to say, “that is my kid and whatever timing she has in life is okay by me.”

The are of letting your kids be who they are.

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